I really don't want to write this....it kinda makes me want to hide away from the world but we all have to face the things we don't like right?? So, here it is.................I'VE GAINED!
The two words that I was hoping to avoid writing about this year have surfaced. It wouldn't be so bad if say the gain was only a few pounds but no....that's not the case. If we go by my last post (which was April...yikes, I should really get better on writing in this blog) then I've gained about 10lbs, if I go by my first post of the 2014 year then I've gained 8lbs. Of course, I could say...well since I wasn't really eating well during some of the those months and did a "semi-fad" diet, then from my "TRUE" weight, I've only gained 4lbs. I like the last one better than the other two...it doesn't make me look like that much of a failure!
Granted the past few months I hadn't been working out as much as I had done in the past (summer's are really hard for me for some odd reason) and I have been going out to eat more than usual...like once or twice a week since May....I know, not the best thing for me to do.
So, I'm trying to start over again (which is something that I feel like I do almost all of the time!) and I'm hoping that I can stick with it. I'm still going out to dinners but I'm trying to make them less often (or at least cut them down) and when I do, try not to eat as much. I'm also trying to get more active in the gym. The last few weeks I've been getting in for at least 3-4 times and have even added in some times during my lunch breaks. I haven't had any big changes in my weight since I've started but I'm hoping things will change shortly. I've been able to maintain around this same weight for about 2 weeks now, which isn't really a bad thing but I know that it's not a good weight for me to be in. Currently, I'm 46lbs away from my goal weight...which I'm starting to think I'll never really see and I should except that. So, if I go by my new goal weight that would make me 35lbs away. I also know that it's not going to happen this year but hopefully by the end of 2015 I can make some progress towards it. I may need to inquire the help of others to do this since I seem to be struggling on my own once again. I don't know, I just know that when I look in the mirror I'm not also happy with what I see (I've even thought about having surgery to take off some of the excess skin/weight but have now decided to put that on the back burner).
I'd say keep your fingers crossed for me but it hasn't worked in the past so maybe it's time to find something else...maybe what I need is a miracle!
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