The Stuck In Mud Feeling.....

The title of today's post should say it all....I literally feel like I'm stuck in mud! No matter what I try to do I just can't make any headway and it's starting to drive me insane!!!!

Okay, maybe not to the point of becoming insane....just really frustrated. Once again another week goes by and I find myself up in weight and not down. Granted, I didn't work out as much as I should have but I made sure that I ate healthy and not to go over my calories for the day.....so why did my weight go up, if anything it should of stayed the same. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....yep, I'm frustrated!

I feel like my body is trying to tell me that it's completely happy at this weight and no matter what I try to do, it's going to stay at this weight. I don't like that, I really want to be to loose these last stubborn 40lbs.

Alright, now that I've gotten all of that off my chest I'm feeling slightly better. Hopefully I can turn things around this coming week and see the scale go in the down direction once again...even if it's only .0something, it's still in the down direction and with the holiday's coming right up, I feel like I need to do something. I'd love to be down at least 9lbs by the end of the year, which would be put me in a new weight bracket...I just need to buckle down, not give up and keep thinking to myself that I CAN DO THIS!

And then just maybe I will reach the step that say's....I DID IT!

Slipping backwards...but just a little!

Well, last week wasn't so hot to put it lightly. I didn't work out for at least a 1/2 hour each day like I planned and did the previous week and I'd like to say that the reason that didn't happen is because something huge happened and I wasn't able to make it into the gym but of course if I did then I'd be lying to you. No the main reason's why I didn't make it into the gym were being sick one day and not feeling like it for a few days.

I know, I know...even though I don't feel like it I should go no matter what, especially if I only plan on doing a 1/2 hour and I think I may of learned my lesson....maybe.

I can tell you that when I got on my scale Thursday morning after not doing a thing for the past 4 days, I almost cried when I saw that the scale had gone in the upwards direction. Granted it was only up 2.3lbs but it was still up. It's totally amazing how just a few days of not working out, the pounds just come right back on. I decided that morning that no matter what I needed to get a workout in and since I didn't have time before work and had plans after work, I had to work out during my lunch break. Now, normally this wouldn't be a bad thing but knowing that I only have a 1/2 hour lunch break and really wanted to work out, something had to give....so I quickly changed my clothes and rushed off to our 1/2 hour cycling class and decided not to eat my lunch and sit around. Luckily one of my co-workers let me sneak a few bites of food afterwards so I wasn't completely starving all afternoon.

After class, I felt a little better....not great but better and I felt like I was starting to make some progress in the right direction.  When I got on the scale Friday morning, I wasn't expecting a miracle but was at least hoping to see the number go down just a little bit....but nope, it stayed the same. Determined not to loose hope and knowing that once again I wasn't going to make it to the gym, I had to make sure that what I ate that day wasn't overboard (and knowing that I was going to a football game that night right after I got out of work where I'd be freezing to death, my dinner wasn't going to be all that healthy, my lunch had to be).

Saturday morning came and to the scale I went (hoping and praying it should be a different number, preferably in the down direction!), when I looked down I couldn't believe my eyes.....that 2.3lbs that I had gained was gone! I was back down to where I was the previous week, I just wanted to jump up and down with delight but I'm pretty sure that would of scared my cat. Knowing that I was going to be going out to dinner with a group of girls from work and it was going to be high in calories, off to the gym I went for my workout....one full hour of cycling where I managed to bike 14.6 miles! I was pretty pleased with that number knowing that it had been well over 6 months since I'd taken a full hour cycling class and felt like I was completely out of shape compared to everyone else in the class.

Here's to hoping that next week I am able to continue with my work outs (like I should be) and that I loose some more weight before the end of the year. It's looking like I won't be making my goal of loosing 20lbs by the end of the year (unless some sort of miracle happens between now and then!) but I'd settle for anywhere between 7-10lbs. With only having to loose 40(ish) more pounds before I reach my goal, I find it harder and harder to shed the weight. I still have my 5hrs of group training to redeem with one of our personal trainers...maybe that's something I should do soon, especially with the holidays coming right up.....with all of those parties to attend and all of the yummy food!

Baby Steps....

Well, I'm pleased to say that I've been making some progress in my workouts. I've been trying to work out for at least 30 minutes each day and so far......I've been able to do that on most days. Granted, there are still times when I can think of 100 reasons not working out but I know deep down I wouldn't be happy with myself.

I still have a hard time getting myself to the gym still on the mornings that I don't have to be at the Y for 4:15am. Even though that I tell myself that I really should start going in the mornings, when morning comes, I just go right ahead and talk myself right out of it and now that it's starting to get colder, I really don't want to get out of my nice warm bed.

This past week I had the chance to take a "Master Class" here at the Y. A "Master Class" is when one of the head instructor's come to our location to teach/train a group of our instructor's a new BTS fitness class and this one just happened to be "Group Kick", which is an hour long kickboxing class. And boy, talk about a workout! By the time class ended I could already start to feel how sore my muscles were getting and by the following day, it did hurt to move. But I knew that if I was to do nothing the day after, that I was really going to pay for it....so off to the gym I went to work out some of the soreness and I have to tell you that it really worked! Sunday morning I got out of bed and felt like my old self again.

Last week I also weighed in to see if I was any closer to my end of the year goal and I was pleased to see that for a change the scale was being nice to me. I was down 1.6lbs :) Now, I'm just hoping that I can keep the scale going in that direction.

I haven't had a chance to get into the gym these past two days as I wasn't in the area on Sunday and yesterday I wasn't feeling good. Today, well....I decided that it was best to do some housework (since it had been awhile) and to head to my local town office to vote before I went to work. Since, I've taken the last three days off, I can't take anymore days off this week...so tomorrow back in the gym I go, even if it's only for my half hour workout!

And hopefully this week's weigh in won't reflect the three days that I took off from working out....fingers crossed!!!

Looking for that "Spark".....have you seen it????

I've been trying to find that "spark" again to get myself back into the gym and working out but I just can't seem to find it. I start off each week with a plan as to what I'm going to do, the night before my first day I'm psyched and ready to go but when morning comes....I just can't seem to drag myself out of bed to get my behind moving. So I think to myself, well I'll just work out after I get out of work...then it comes time for me to end my shift and once again, I've lost the motivation that I had earlier in the day, so I go home. I know, I know....I should force myself to go to the gym regardless but what can I say....I'm not very good at telling myself no! And of course, by the time I do go to bed I hate the fact that I didn't make myself work out and I tell myself I'll do better tomorrow....which of course never really seems to arrive.

I do have to say that I've been good for the past two weeks in working out on Thursday mid-mornings. I've been making myself go to one of our Group Core classes here at the Y and even though I haven't seen any changes in my core yet, I happy that I haven't given up on going to the classes....although having one of my friends/co-workers teach the class is a good way to get you there and also the fact it's only a 30 minute class!!!

I'm still 19.5lbs away from where I want to be by December 31, 2013 and as the months start dwindling down, I keep getting this feeling that I'm not going to make it to my goal by the end of the year. I know that if I could just get myself into the gym more than just once a week that would help but with my work schedule all of the place and changing week to week, it's been really hard to commit to a workout routine that I know I'll be able to stick with. Plus with the colder months upon us, staying inside where it's nice and warm bundled up on the coach just sounds much better than heading off to the gym! Maybe I need to find myself someone to workout with who'd be able to hold me accountable for missing any workouts...the only thing is everyone that I usually workout with has just as crazy work schedule as me so it's really hard for us to find time to workout together.

Who knows, maybe next week will be better...and I'll finally be able to find myself back into a workout routine. I  do know that I also need to start running again, my running shoes have been starting at me for weeks now and it's almost like I can hear them quietly yelling at me for not taking them out and hitting the pavement! Maybe what I also need to do is find another road race to compete in to get myself motivated....hey, it worked last time! Guess I should start looking to see what races are coming up and that I can do. If I commit to race, than I know I have to get my behind moving :)

Summertime = lack in working out

It's been awhile since I've posted and I'd like to say that it's because of been working hard towards my "crazy" dream of finally reaching my goal weight that I've been dreaming about for so long but unfortunately that is not the case :(

No, since the last time I wrote things in my life have only seemed to get crazier and my workouts were the one thing that truely suffered. For those people who still manage to lose weight during these warm summer months, I've got to hand it to you. I, on the other hand managed to gain 5 of the pounds I lost during my biggest mover training days :( Granted during the past three months I only set foot into the gym once and that was a 20-30 minute workout but it wasn't enough. On the plus side though, this summer was far better than the past few summers where I seemed to gain back at least 10+ pounds....must of been the change of camp food that did it or maybe it was the fact that a little over half the summer I was putting in roughly 50-60 hours a week. By the time I was done with work and the 30-40 minute drive back to the city, the last thing I wanted to do was workout.
I tried to get myself moving in the early hours of the day, when the temperatures were much cooler but once again, I found it hard to pull myself out of bed (why do they have to make those things so darn comfortable). Not only was it hard to find time before or after work but with having my days off so far and few in between, I really didn't want to take the time to hit the gym....instead, I wanted to make this summer all about adventures. I remember as a little girl piling into the car with my family and just driving, not knowing where we were going to end up and I wanted to do that again  this summer....mission was accomplished :) This summer I enjoyed some nice road trips along the coast of Maine and to the Western part of the state.

Starting in September, my goal is to try to get my life back in order (hopefully I'll be able to do this since I'll finally be back at the Y and really shouldn't have an excuse for not making it to the gym). So here's to a new, fresh start!

Where I've been for the last five months!

I now that it's been a while since I've written anything (I've been slacking once again) but I am happy to report that the past few months I have been working towards my biggest goal....which is to finally get down to my ideal weight!

When I last wrote I talked about doing the Biggest Mover again and hoping that this time around I'd see some changes unlike last time when within the 12-week program I only lost 2 pounds! Yeah, I wasn't a fan of that. Anyways, I'm happy to say that I was able to loose much more than that 2 pounds this time around :)
I also did take notes as to what some of my training's and weeks were like....so let's go back to mid-January when it all began.

"Week one of the Biggest Mover was a killer and I'm not lying. Let's just say that I've now nicknamed my two training days as "Killer Monday" and "Torture Tuesday", which pretty much describes our workouts. I did however manage to loose .4lbs for my first week, not a whole lot but at least it's in the right direction! I was also happy with the fact that I was able to keep up with the two guys on my team. I didn't want them thinking that I was going to be a weak link on our team and I'm thinking that after our workouts, they're not thinking that. The following days after our workouts, I was extremely sore...so sore that it hurt to not only go up stairs but also to either sit or squat. Yep...that made for some fun work days! By the time the weekend came around I was finally able to move like a normal human being, so I made my way into the gym for my "extra" workouts for the week and I was also able to do our warm-up routine a few mornings. Trust me, it's very easy to feel like skipping that routine (staying in bed always sounds like a much better option!) but I did it.

When week two started, I was excited compared to last week when I was a nervous wreak and scared since I didn't know what was to come. Two of my teammates were going to be joining me for the first time (one had been on vacation and the other one was sick) but then I received the news that one of them was dropping out, she just didn't have the time for it anymore....and I have to say that I was sad to hear this but at the same time okay with her decision. So, now we're down to a team of 4 instead of 5.

Our first night was a killer but then again it was "Killer Monday". We spent the entire hour working out our lower body using either just our body or caring hand weights (mine were 12lbs) in each hand while using the giant tire. For those of you who don't know, downstairs in our weight room (also known as the "torture chamber") is a huge tire that was once on a tractor trailer. We had to climb on it, go over it and even use it for squats. At one point in the evening, while we were to be going over the tire my weights started to slip from my hands and the next thing I know, I'm going down and down I went! The weights went one way and my body slammed right into the tire, as I look back on it now I'm sure it was quite funny...although no one was laughing. Our second night was nothing but upper body and who was there to greet us once again, why the tire that's who! But the good news was that I didn't have to be climbing through it tonight. Nope instead I got to have the pleasure of beating it up and I do have to say that was my favorite workout of the night. My least favorite was when I had to do pull-ups while keeping my body straight on the ground. It sounds simple but when you reach the bottom and find yourself lying on the floor and have to pull yourself up, it's not fun...although it did give people a good laugh! Some days being short does not work towards my advantage :( The weigh in for week 2 was much better than the first week, I was down 1.6lbs...yeah me :)

Week three came and went without any weigh ins or working out with my teammates. I had to take a week away from everything and take care of a few personal issues that were going on in my life, but I do have to say that I did my best to stay motivated while I was away from the gym. Trying to keep my diet in check, along with making sure that I got in some form of exercise. Good thing I was staying in a location where it was sunny, I was able to get outside for my workouts instead of being inside all the time!

I came back home just in time for week four to being and I have to be honest, when it came time for me to weigh in I didn't know what the scale was going to say. Was it going to be nice or was it going to be mean? Lucky for me it decided to be nice...down 1.8lbs since my last weigh in two weeks ago. The next few days were going to be a challenge for me as I was once again leaving the comforts of home for the northern Maine woods. Granted it's not like I was going to be living outside (get real people, it's the dead of winter in Maine!), I would be staying in a condo but the resources I had back home would not be around, nor would there be people around to push me. Time for another test, could I pass it?

Week five came and as much as I tried to match the previous weeks weight loss, it just didn't happen. In fact, I was slightly disappointed with myself...I was up .2lbs. Granted that's not a lot and it's something that I shouldn't freak out about but for someone like me who's struggled their whole life to loose weight, seeing the scale go up and not down is sad :( That night I put everything I had in me to get everything I could from the workout and with it only being two of us that night, there was no room for slacking or hiding!

By the time week six started, I was feeling confident that I was down in my weight, even if it was just a little bit. After Mondays night workout (which we've now renamed from "Killer Monday" to "Murderous Monday") and the second week in a row my trainer has made me feel like I was going to throw up at some point during the workout, I was ready to see what the scale had in store for me. As I was getting ready to hop on, all I kept thinking was "please be down from last week, please be down". When the number finally stopped and smile crept across my face....I was down .8lbs, not huge but it was going in the right direction and I was ready for whatever my trainer had in store...bring on "Torture Tuesday"!

Week seven found me away from everyone once again. This time I was in sunny Florida for my vacation. Normally most people arrive in Florida and stay in one location but no not me...I'm the type of person who likes to travel around and guess who does all the driving while in Florida, yep that's right...this gal. If you ever want to experience a great ab workout then I truly suggest driving through Orlando during 5 o'clock rush-hour traffic, it really gets the heart pumping! Unlike last time I was away for a long period of time, I didn't get in as much walking as I'd hope. With me also being sick one day, I didn't feel like doing a whole lot.

I'm hoping that as week eight draws near and the finale is getting ever so close, I didn't mess myself up while I was away and I was able to loose a few pounds. I would love to loose a grand total of 15 pounds by the final weigh in and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I do make it. With only three weeks left with my trainer and two weeks on my own, I'll be able to do it....wish me luck!"

That's all I had written for notes, but I can tell you that the last three weeks with my trainer were nothing short of some tough workouts! By the time we reached the two weeks we were by ourselves, he had given us the right tools to help us in our weight loss journey. I'm happy to report that by the final weigh in in April, I was able to to make my goal of loosing 15 pounds plus one...that's right, I managed to loose a grand total of 16lbs! I'm also happy to report that our team came in first place and one of my teammates also came in second place in the overall finish...go NAVY TEAM!

Since April, I've been going to the gym (or doing something outside) for at least 3 times a week for no shorter than a half an hour and even though my workouts are not as crazy as they have been, I have been able to keep my weight right around where I ended things in April. I'm now only 37.6 pounds away from where I want to by...who knows maybe I can make it there by the end of 2013. We shall see!

A Fresh Start....

Yesterday was my turning point, it's was the day that I decided to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.

I attend the Biggest Mover Kick Off and while I was in line to have my "Before" picture taken, a fellow mover walked by me and said "there, the worst part was over". I asked her "the worst part?" And she was like "Yeah, having my picture taken." Now don't get me wrong, I know some people hate having their picture taken but to me that wasn't the worst part....the worst part for me is when I had to get on that scale and see that even though I had worked my behind off for the past two years, that I did indeed slack off in some of my workouts and gained some of the weight back! Even though my starting weight was a pound lower than what I wrote on the sheet (yeah! I actually managed to loose something, even if it was just a pound), it's still higher than where I was in May 2011 and not where I want to be. I starting to wonder if I'll ever see my goal weight or if it'll just be a number that I dream of..........

Anyways, like I said yesterday was my turning point. I managed to squeeze in a workout (1 hour and 15 minutes) even though part of me almost said "Heck with working out, it's Saturday...take the day off", I've been doing that far to often lately and knew that today I could not slack!.

On top of attending the Biggest Mover Kick Off to get myself ready to start this crazy journey of trying to reach my goal weight, Friday night I finally sat down and watched the first two episodes for the Biggest Loser and I have to say that I'm excited for this season. Not only am I happy that Jillian is back (don't get me  wrong I like Dolvett and I LOVE Bob....there's just something about Jillian screaming in your face and telling you what you really don't want to hear, that I just love) but I'm also happy that this season they're tackling the issue of "Childhood Obesity"! This isn't something that most people are comfortable talking about but unfortunately it's far to real for us to ignore. As someone who grew up overweight, I know exactly how these kids are feeling and what they're going through and I couldn't be more proud of them! I'm really looking forward to seeing how this season turns out :)

So, here's to new beginnings and fresh starts! During the next 12 weeks (10 with my trainer and 2 on my own) I WILL NOT slack in my workouts! I WILL not only work out with my trainer two times a week (and possibly put through hell!) but I WILL make it to the gym and/or a fitness class at least 3 other times a week, even if that means I have to drag myself out of bed.....I WILL DO IT!!!!

I'm hoping that by the time my 12 weeks is up, I've lost something besides time! I hoping for at least 10 lbs (although I would be really happy if I could loose 20 lbs but I'm not going to stress about it, stressing would just cause me to want to eat more and that would defeat the purpose of me doing all of this hard work!). So, here's to the next 12 weeks....wish me luck!

Finding the rhythm part two....

Okay, here it is Friday and as for me finding the rhythm to get back into the working out world hasn't gotten very far.

Number of times I made it to the gym this week: 1
Number of times I thought about going to the gym and even brought my stuff with me but never made it: 3

Yep, not good numbers at all. I could go on and say that at least I had good intensions and I would of totally of gone if it wasn't for the fact that on the first night o completely forgot about a meeting that I had to attend and the second night I was far to hungry to even think about burning off calories, all I wanted to do was consume them. As for day number 3, yeah...there's really no excuse for that one. I know that I could of gotten up early and did my workouts before I headed off to work but this was the beginning of my new work schedule and I was actually enjoying those extra hours of sleep time!

Tomorrow will be a different story though and I will make it in for a workout! Plus tomorrow is also the kick off for the Biggest Mover and I couldn't be more excited :) I've already chatted with a few of my teammates and they can't wait to get started either. I'm thinking that I'm going to have fun with this group, although I'm sure that our trainer will make sure that we don't have too much fun! Our training sessions start this coming Monday and not only will we be training back to back (our second training day is Tuesday) but this will also be my first time training at night. I'm not sure how well the scale is going to like me but I am hoping that it will be nice....please be nice to me Mr. Scale, please!

Trying to find the rhythm once again....

Since the new year has started I haven't been doing so good, I've probably only made it to the gym a total of  three times. Granted I've been busy or have been working the entire time the gym was opened but I shouldn't use that as an excuse as to why I didn't do anything. It's not like I don't have other options, I do own a Wii with the Wii Fit....along with a few workout DVD's (including one that has Jillian Michaels on the cover telling me that in 30 days I'll be a much more fitter and stronger person...well Miss Jillian, I've now owed this DVD for more than 30 days and I haven't seen a change yet!).

I do have to say that the days I did make it to the gym for my workouts, I did really good. Both days 1 and 2 were both one hour long due to the fact I got so involved in the TV show I was watching....gotta love TLC! And my 3rd day was 2 hours long...half an hour on the elliptical and then an extra long Group Groove session where they brought out the best of the best from the past 5 years, talk about a workout. By the time I got done, I was so tired and hungry....so much for my original plan of shoveling snow, instead I enjoyed a nice lunch and stayed inside where it was nice and warm and out of the crazy windstorm going on.

I'm hoping that beginning on Monday, next week, I'll be able to get out of this slump I'm in and start kicking my behind back into shape. You see, next week I start working out with a trainer once again doing the Biggest Mover program. I really haven't trained with this trainer before but he has had some great results with people and others try to get on his team, so I guess I should be greatful that I am one of them. Hopefully he doesn't kill me in the first day though.